


Get your ugly on (christmas sweater)

by tisktisk (PornyZiallFeels)



Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... [5]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cher Lloyd (mentioned) - Freeform, Christmas Fluff, M/M, Nick Grimshaw (mentioned) - Freeform, Perrie Edwards (mentioned) - Freeform, Ugly Sweaters, budding side lilo, hints of gryles, michael clifford (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 04:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5361098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PornyZiallFeels/pseuds/tisktisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 5 fugly sweaters</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get your ugly on (christmas sweater)

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry this one is very much un-beta'd & riddled with mistakes but i'm running behind and didn't have the time to send it off to me beta before posting :'(

“Happy Birthday month to me!”  Louis warbled purposely off key, whipping the door to Liam and Zayn’s room open and not even attempting to stop it from hitting the wall.

“Trying to sleep here.” Zayn groaned into his pillow, eyes still squeezed shut.

“Yes but it’s nearly three and I’m hungry and Lame-o is still in class because he’s a big ol’ nerd.” Louis pointed out entering the room without an invite but leaving the door wide open.

“OR because he’s paying for an education that he doesn’t want to waste unlike _some_ people!” Zayn countered, still refusing to open his eyes and missing his mates exaggerated eye roll.

“ANYWAY I’m hungry and there’s no one else to eat with and it’s my birthday so you have to bend to my every whim and fancy.”

Zayn let out an indignant snort.

Not one to be discouraged Louis’ continued to plead his case, his voice taking on a whiny tone. “Come on! It’s December.”

“I’m aware.”

“So it’s my birthday for the whole month you know this, now get the fuck up.” Louis growled and without warning flung himself on top of the sleeping boy.

“You’re such a wanker you know that?” Zayn gritted out both through clenched teeth and from lack of air in his lungs as Louis made himself comfortable.

The older boy gasped, pulling a wounded face. “Words are weapons Zayn.”

Zayn didn’t seem to give a rip as he rolled over in bed successfully dropping the other boy on his arse which put a satisfying if not sleepy smile on the darker boy’s face. “Whatever I’m getting up you happy?”

“Ecstatic.” Louis grumbled, rubbing at his sore bum from his spot on the floor.

                                                                            +++

“Sooo Zayn you know the one thing I love more than having everyone’s attention on me?” Louis asked, speaking before he’d even slid completely into his seat across from where Zayn was already digging into a bowl of chicken and broccoli alfredo.

“Erm football?"

“Wrong, trick question there’s _nothing_ I love more than having all eyes on me.” Louis corrected practically preening while Zayn’s eyebrows drew together in annoyance.

“Shit I knew that, that doesn’t count because I’m still pretty much asleep.”

“Nope sorry you’re a horrible mate and now the whole world knows it.” Louis stated, gesturing with a sweeping hand at the eight to ten other students in the dining hall not paying them a bit of mind.

“Piss off, was there a point to you asking?” Zayn asked, shoveling more delicious pasta into his mouth, he’d never admit it out loud but he was sort of grateful that Louis woke him up to eat because he honestly couldn’t remember when he last ate and was near starved but then that was the life of an art major, always losing track of time, space and meals apparently. Getting lost in his craft, filling every possible second with perfecting it until it’s just right (it’ll never be _just_ right). It’s a wonder he hasn’t completely alienated himself from all human contact, as it was he only had two friends to speak of Liam and Lou and he probably would’ve lost them ages ago if he didn’t live with Liam and Louis wasn’t, well _Louis._ He was the sort who went around collecting people and once he claimed you as his there was no getting rid of him.

Again, Zayn was eternally grateful to Louis.

“Oh right, I just heard that instead of their usual Christmas shindig the fashion majors are holding a campus wide ugly sweater fashion show and the winner gets a coupon for a free Nando’s dinner for two.”

“So? You’re not even studying fashion.”

“Nothing gets by you Cumberbatch, good thing it’s _campus wide_ that means anyone can participate which is just perfect for me. Can’t you just see it me on the runway strutting my stuff, working my angles all eyes on me as I booty pop my way to the end and back again?”

“Oh god all too well you’re not really going to twerk in front of the entire school are you?”

“If it’ll give me an edge up on the competition then why not? No point in wastin’ what the good lord gave me eh?” He laughed, bouncing in his seat.  “You’ll look pretty good up there yourself with a face like that I don’t reckon many people will be looking at your sweater.”

“What are you on about I’m not the one entering.”

“Ah Zayn, Zayn, Zayn my dear clueless mate, you remember a couple of weeks ago when you bet me you could eat more vodka soaked gummy bears and lost?” He doesn’t even wait for a response before continuing. “You asked me what my stakes were and I said I’d name them later because I wanted to hold out for a good’un? Well I’m cashing in and you _are_ going to enter.”

“Hell no Tommo, I’ll do anything else you want me to streak across campus, finally paint that nude portrait of you you’ve been begging me for or...I don’t know eat a live rattlesnake? Anything would be preferable to _this.”_ In hindsight Zayn realizes he probably shouldn’t have admitted that but he was desperate and the damage was already done.

“Aw don’t look so grim Zayn, if it makes you feel any better I’ve put Liam’s name down as well and he hasn’t a clue.” Oddly enough it did make him feel a little better knowing his mate would be just as apprehensive about the whole thing but that when it came to Louis Liam had a bit of a weakness—could never manage to say no and got roped into doing all kinds of ridiculous things just to make the slighter boy happy.

“Being yer mate really sucks sometimes, now what am I even supposed to wear I don’t own any ugly Christmas sweaters.”

“What about that one yer mum sent ya in the mail with the robots?”

“Excuse you that is not an ugly sweater—robots are bloody sick mate.”

“Fine, fine I’ll admit robots are pretty ace and that sweater isn’t very ugly but it’s going to have to do.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“I already found the perfect sweater and bought it online.” Louis admitted practically preening. “Had to pay extra for overnight delivery but I’m sure it’ll be worth it.”

“I’d just like to go on record as saying you’re taking this all way too serious.

“Duly noted and now completely forgotten do you wanna know what’s on it or did you want to be surprised?”

“Do I really have a choice or—”

Louis started speaking before he could even finish his thought. “It’s blue so it’ll look amazing with my eyes and has two snowmen on the front one is missing his carrot nose and looking all horrified—sort of the way Liam looks whenever I do or say something that goes against his prim and proper upbringing he’s such a drag sometimes.”

“No he’s not.”

“No he’s not.” Louis agrees, “but I love to mess with him it’s sort of my favorite.”

“Not _sort of.”_ Zayn mutters covering his words with a cough.

“What was that?” Louis asks with a look that dares Zayn to repeat himself but the younger boy know better and stays mum. “Oh who cares so the one snowman we’ll call him Blowman because he’s a loser looking all offended and ruining all of the other snowman’s fun.”

“If Blowman is Liam then I assume the other snowman must be _you_.”

“Too right it is we can call him _Bro_ man because he’s cool…a real bro, and well he’s got a nose unlike Blowman and he’s grinning like I am oft to do when I’m up to no good.” He pauses for dramatic affect. “And Broman is deffo up to no good because it seems he’s the one who swiped Blowman’s nose.”

“Oh yeah, why’d he do that?”

“To use as his penis.”

Zayn chokes on a bite of pasta in surprise. “WHAT?”

“Well what self-respecting snowman goes around without a willie? So Broman took Blowman’s nose to fashion himself one and that’s what’s going to win me the whole shebang!”

“I thought it was an ugly sweater contest not an off color sweater contest.”

“You say tomato, I say shut the fuck up and stop trying to ruin all my fun.” Louis said with a flip of his wrist just before swiping a bit of Zayn’s pasta.

+++

After lunch the boys return to Zayn’s room where Zayn plops down on his bed and pulls out his sketchbook while Louis makes himself at home on Liam’s bed shuffling through the music on his iPod every so often letting out a noise of disapproval.

That’s exactly how Liam finds them when he returns from class, dropping his rucksack by the door with a loud thud before all but collapsing in his desk chair.

“What’s up lads?” Neither of them stir.

“Nothing much, we just got back from lunch a bit ago--brought you back a couple of slices.” Zayn said nodding at the tin foiled plate on Liam’s desk. “They’re probably cold by now but you can always go to the communal kitchen and use the microwave…” Before Zayn could finish Liam ripped off the foil and took a huge bite of the first slice. “Or you can just eat it cold that’s cool.”

“Cheers mate, I’m so hungry.”

Finally looking up from the iPod in his hands Louis pulled one ear bud out. “Liam you’re back!”

“I am.”

“Did you hear anything about the runway show the fashion majors are putting on day after next?”

“I may have heard whispers, and get this it’s not just any kind of fashion show it’s for ugly sweaters specifically can you imagine the kind of sorry sods who’re going to sign up? You couldn’t pay me to do it.”

“Good cause I’m not offering but we _are_ entering.”

The smile on Liam’s face melted instantly as his eyes darted between his two mates waiting for one of them to tell the punchline because they had to be kidding. “Yeah right, good one Tommo.”

“I signed you, me, and Zee up this morning.” Louis revealed with a smirk, taking great pleasure in the way the color slowly ran from the other boy’s face as he realized the others weren’t putting him on.

“Wait what? You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack babe.”

“What? no! I’m not--I refuse!” He sputtered turning to Zayn the more reasonable of the pair. “Zayn certainly you’re going along with this?” He pleaded, gasping in disbelief at the darker boy’s nod.

“Under protest I promise, but unfortunately my hands are tied by a bet.”

“Well mine aren’t and I’m saying no and that’s final.”

“That’s too bad.” Louis murmured as though thinking out loud and not actually talking to his mates “because I can just imagine how sexy you would look up there on the runway."

“You--you think I look sexy?”

Louis’ eyes widened as if just realizing that he’d said that out loud. “Erm up on the runway you would, everyone does—It must be the lighting or something.” He backtracked with a nervous chuckle “but just imagine all eyes on you drinking you in, the girls and boys of this school who don’t ordinarily get to gaze upon your beauty day in and day out because they’re not musicology majors would be getting their first glimpse of the one and only Liam damn Payne™ and believe you mean they’ll be better off for it.”

“Get the perfect chance to mock and laugh at me you mean, no dice Louis.”

“I’ve already got the perfect sweater and I’m sure we won’t have any trouble finding something suitable in your closet.” Louis reasoned, ignoring Liam’s offended look.

“I said no, I’m not going to make a fool of myself in front of the whole school for your amusement Louis.”

“Again.” Zayn threw in like the helpful mate he was making Liam frown.

“Aw come on Liam you wouldn’t make me do this alone would you?” Louis insisted hitting Liam with an impressive pair of puppy eyes.

“You won’t be alone; you’ll have Zayn you just said.”

“Under protest though.” The older boy whined climbing onto his knee ready to beg is need be.

“And what makes you think I’d be a willing participant?” Liam challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“Because you’re Liam and he’s Lou.” Zayn spoke, interrupting their intense staring contest “besides he plans to twerk down the runway and no one should miss that.”

“Really??? I mean I would still come and support you lot of course I just don’t want to--”

“Would you do it for a Scooby snack?” Louis asked suddenly, catching the other boy off guard.

“What like a dog treat?”

“No a Scooby snack.” Louis corrected, tossing Liam a pack of Scooby doo fruit snacks he found under the bed.

“Trying to bribe me with my own candy that’s a new one.” Liam said, sounding impressed.

“Eh I try, so are you in?”

Liam took in the hopeful look on his friend’s face and really considered what was being asked of him and before he could lose his nerve he released a huge sigh. “Oh alright I’ll do it.”

Louis threw his hands up with a hoot. “Yes! Payno I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”

“Like I even have a choice.” Liam mumbled, but he couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth at seeing how pleased Louis was.

Zayn reached who had come over to steal a fruit snack from the now open pack in front of Liam, patted the younger boy’s shoulder in sympathy. “You never did bro.”

The two of them watched as Louis climbed down from the bed headed towards Liam’s closet where he proceeded to dig through his clothes for something suitable.

“What the bloody hell is this?” He screeched coming out from the closet with a bright green sweater with striped sleeves what looked like a red cape on the back that looked pretty sick to Zayn, but judging from the pink tinge to Liam’s cheeks it was probably the complete opposite.

“It was a gag gift my buddy Andy got me last hols.”

“Oh yeah then why’re you making your lying face?” Louis asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Zayn leaned over to get a look himself and snort because Liam totally was.

“You really are, you’re a terrible liar did you know that?”

“I did actually, but I am _not_ lying Andy really did buy it for me!”

“Come to think of it this has you written all over it, definitely something you’d actually pay money for.” Louis noted, clucking his tongue as he gave the sweater a closer look.

Throwing his hands up in defeat, Liam let out a huff of annoyance. “Fine I asked him to buy it! I’d forgotten my wallet at home when I saw it in the window and had to have it…it’s got a bloody cape for bloody sake!”

“Calm down Lee no need to go all red in the face we’ve been well aware that you’re a first class dork since the day we met ya and we like you anyway and look on the bright side now you’ve actually got a shot at winning with this eye sore.”

“I’m not—” Liam started to protest but Zayn quickly brought a hand up to his mouth to shush him, shaking his head.

“Let it go Liam, haven’t you learned by now? Resistance is futile.”

                                                                     +++

The day of the contest Zayn is not a happy camper, for one thing the idiots behind the whole show decided to hold it at the bloody ass crack of noon which is still too damn early for Zayn to be awake and functional and another thing upon arrival Liam and Louis stuck him on line and then basically abandoned him, disappearing off to god knows where leaving him to act as placeholder for them which was fucked up on its own but then add the fact that he’d forgotten his phone back at the dorm and he was stuck in a no smoking area he had nothing to bloody do until it was his turn to grab a number.

Desperately Zayn scanned the crowd for a familiar face he could pass the time with until his knob head mates returned, he may only have them for friends but he did talk to other people during his lessons and whatnot he wasn’t a social leper…conversation just never went deeper than a puddle mostly just exchanging small talk about the weather, their assignment or weekend plans and such but it was still something and if he could spot even one person he knew he’d go over and channel the chatty man himself Alan Carr if he had to because anything was better than just standing there with nothing to do but bop his head along to the Christmas music they were playing over the loudspeaker.

“I’m more a fan of Bublé’s version of Blue Christmas meself.” A voice said to his right and Zayn turned to find a small blonde with striking blue eyes grinning over at him from the second sign in line. Not usually one for talking to strangers, Zayn only hesitates a beat before thinking fuck it and returning the lad’s smile.

“Yeah but you can’t beat the original, Elvis was considered king for a reason.” He said with a smug smile.

“Maybe that’s because Bublé wasn’t even born yet.” The blonde countered looking just as smug.

“Are you _seriously_ trying to say Michael Bublé is better’n Elvis Presley?” Zayn sked raising an eyebrow.

The blonde held eye contact for all of a second before conceding, flashing his with an almost bashful smile. “Naw, just needed a way to start a conversation if I’m being honest.”

“Oh.” Zayn said, not expecting that. He wasn’t used to people being that honest.

The blonde shrugged. “Yeah…so I’m Niall, nice to meet you.” He said, offering his hand for shaking.

“Zayn.”

“Hi Zayn, so are you actually into fashion or are you like me and you’ve just come for the promise of food.”

“Food?”

“The prize, free Nando’s my two favorite words in the English language yeah buddie!”

“Right, right I forgot what the point of all even was.” Zayn admitted with a laugh. “I’m only doing it because I lost a bet.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep, but on the bright side I now know my limit for vodka soaked gummy bears…twenty-six and I’m out for the count!”

“Aye very useful information that.”

“Is it? What’s your number then?” The blonde shrugged.

“Wouldn’t know I’m more a beer man meself.”

“Yeah me neither it was my mate Louis’ idea and I thought hell I love gummy bears; I love vodka where is the bad? Little did I know eh?”

“You live and you learn, ‘sides isn’t that the whole point of university to try new things, meet people, maybe learn something while you’re at it.”

“Yeah but after three years of knowing Louis, of being roped into countless shitty situations you’d think I’d know better.” Zayn grumbled, shaking his head completely disgusted with himself.

“You’re a third year then?”

“Uh yeah you?”

“Same, I live all the way on the other side of campus studying mass communications with a concentration in broadcast media.”

Zayn let out an impressed whistle. “No wonder I’ve never seen you around before, I’m in art.”

“Sort of figured what with the paint splatters everywhere.” Niall grinned pointing out not only the paint permanently caked under Zayn’s fingernails but the various spots on his clothes as well.

“Right.” Zayn said, running an embarrassed hand through his hair.

“To be honest I was thinking the same thing that there had to be a reason I’d never seen you before—don’t think I’d forget a face like yours.” Niall admits without a hitch.

“Oh I know I’ve got an interesting look, thanks to my mixed heritage—people are always asking me to pose for them in class it’s both flattering and annoying.”

“Interesting isn’t the word I’d use to describe ya mate, I’m pretty sure them wanting you to model for them has more to do with the fact that yer bloody well gorgeous.”

Zayn blinked. “Um what?”

“You’re really fit Zayn, don’t act like this is a surprise that I’m the first person to ever point this out to you.”

“Well I’ve never had someone say it so bluntly.”

“Sorry I’m not really one for beating around the bush, waste of time that. If I know what I want, then what’s the point in not going after it…not that I’m saying I want you exactly I mean your fit and all but I barely know ya aside from the boner you obviously have for Elvis.”

“Oi, I haven’t got a boner for Elvis, if I’m gonna pop a stiffy for any dead legend it’s going to be Michael Jackson for sure.”

“Nice, it’d have to be Sinatra for me, ol blue eyes could get it in if ya know what I mean.”

Zayn was practically bent in half laughing. “You know there is something seriously wrong with us right?” He pointed out, gesturing to the weird looks the people around them were currently shooting them.

“Or maybe we’re perfectly normal taking the piss to stave off boredom and anyone who thinks different is just a boring old cunt who has nothing going on in their own lives that they have to eavesdrop on our conversation.”

“Whoa you weren’t kidding about you not being one to beat around the bush.”

“Just can’t be bothered, sweet sweater by the way. I don’t even think an ace sweater like that should count as ‘ugly’.”

Zayn glanced down at his sweater as if in need of a refresher. “I tried telling Lou that, I mean robots are sick.”

“Exactly.” Niall agreed pointing a finger gun in the older boy’s direction.

“Yours on the other hand is fucking hilarious.” He said, admiring the sweater which had a picture of Santa with his back facing forward and it was made obvious that he was pissing in the snow using his stream to spell out the cheerful message ‘merry Christmas’.

“Ta, it was a gag gift from me older brudder Greg last Christmas never had a reason to wear it until now, it’s just dumb luck that I even packed it up to bring to uni with me.”

Zayn moved to ask more about Niall’s family enjoying the soft lilt his voice took—accent becoming even more pronounced when he spoke of his childhood, or home but before he could a tall boy with long wavy locks sidled up to them and threw his arm around Niall’s neck.

“Niall, babe there you are, I was looking everywhere for you!” Zayn’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead at the term of endearment, shocked to find that he’d been way off about the blonde. Thinking he was low key flirting with him, when in fact he was probably just being friendly because he already had a boy of his own. Or perhaps he was an unfaithful douche who was about to have his tea spilled.

Niall rolled his eyes. “I haven’t moved from where you left me.”

The taller boy either didn’t catch that or chose to ignore it. “Here I brought you a water.”

“Thanks love so did you find Jeremy then?”

Pinching his bottom lip between his fingers the taller lad’s shoulders slumped as he shook his head. “No, it turned out not to be him.”

“Then why were you gone so long?”

“You didn’t let me finish.” He whined and Zayn had a feeling he was pretty used to saying it with how slowly he talked it was hard to keep track of when one conversation ended and another began. “It wasn’t Jeremy but it turned out to be a lovely lad named Ed who happened to have orange hair and a similar affection for plaid.”

“Ah well now it all makes perfect sense.” The blonde joked earning a pout from the other boy.

“You’re mocking me.” He stated, eyebrows wrinkling up on his forehead while the blonde feigned innocence.

“Me? Why I’d never.”

“Yeah right that’s all you ever do anymore I don’t know why I keep you around,”

“Because I’m the only one who laughs at your terrible puns.” Zayn had to bite the side of his cheek in order to keep from laughing watching the two exchange was more entertaining than most daytime television.

“And who is this beauty then?” The curly lad asked, finally turning to Zayn offering him a dimpled smile.

“Haz this is Zayn I found him all alone singing Christmas tunes to himself.”

“Well that’s just not right.”

“I thought so too, Zayn this is Harry.”

“Hiiiiii.”

“Sup?”

“Nothing much just getting in the season and there’s of course no better way than a runway show, you can even say it’s purrfect.” He deadpanned, looking down at his sweater which mainly consisted of a cute little kitten wearing a Santa hat with a few added bells and whistles to fill the background/

“That’s an, erm interesting one.”

“Which is polite speak for its bloody ugly.” Niall translated with a brash laugh.

“Heyyy don’t put words in his mouth he said it was interesting, I like interesting and it is! It’s the perfect Christmas sweater it’s got a Santa hat, mistletoe and these things.” He said plucking at one of the fuzzy balls glued to the garment.

“What _are_ those anyway?”

“Why they’re snowballs of course. And of course the kitty because who doesn’t love a precious little kitten? This one even reminds me of my cat back home in Holmes Chapel Molly.”

“I thought yer cat’s name was Dusty?”

“No. Where’d you even get that name from?”

“No idea, but it’s grey looks like a dusty.”

“And you call _me_ odd.” Harry said, clucking his tongue.

“You are!” Niall insists causing the taller man to attack him with wriggling fingers, staring a tickle war that only ended when Harry licked the side of Niall’s neck making him yelp out his forfeit. Harry backed off looking smug and Zayn was finding it hard not to like him honestly despite his jealousy.

“That’s what I thought—hey is that Daisy?” Harry said, taking off in the direction of a girl wearing a candy cane sweater mid-sentence. Niall squinted after him and let out a snort.

“That’s not Daisy, but I reckon he won’t be back for a while all the same and when he does he’ll have made a new friend. That’s just how he is.”

“Is that your thing then, the two of you go around collecting strangers?”

“Not intentionally but we’re both pretty friendly so it’s just sort of inevitable.” Niall admitted with a shrug, then thought better of it. “That’s not what this is though like I just kind of _had_ to try and talk to you like it wasn’t a choice and now I’m even more grateful I did since we somehow managed to go three years already without bumping into each other if I didn’t take a chance now I probably never would’ve seen you again.”

“And that would’ve been bad?”

“Mmhm not only bad but sad even, a true tragedy an injustice if you will to never have gazed upon true beauty—”

“Oh god stop, you’re being ridiculous and I might start blushing soon. Besides how can you even say all of that when you’ve already got yourself a pretty fit boyfriend.”

“Have I?”

“I just met him, Harry have you got the memory of a goldfish or summat?”

“Oh! Oh god no, you think Haz and I are…shit that’s a good one I have to remember to tell him.”

“Wait so you’re not dating then?” Niall shook his head still gripping his belly. “Alright but I can’t be the first person to make this mistake, not with the way you two act.”

“Fair enough a few people have made that same assumption but I thought we’d gotten better about it, it’s just the product of being best friends since we were in diapers.”

“Huh well that’s good then I guess.”

“Oh yeah why’s that?”

“Um…”

“NEEEXT!” Zayn looks away from Niall to see that the lie has finally moved and that it’s his turn to grab a number and moves to do so, getting two more for Lou and Lee. Niall’s still got two people ahead of him so Zayn moves off to the side to wait, not quite ready to let the blonde go just as quickly as he entered Zayn’s life.

+++

Once they’ve both got their numbers they find a spot in the rec center turned runway show with limited seating around the makeshift runway to sit and talk some more touching on subjects as serious as why they chose their majors, what they hoped to do with their degree and their holiday plans. They told stories about their families and their favorite holiday memories, but they also kept it light in places sharing funny anecdotes about university and the trouble their mates had gotten them into over the years—it was scary if not unsurprising just how many times Louis’ name had come up in _that_ conversation.

They’re so enrapt in conversation that Zayn’s almost disappointed when the head of the fashion department announces that the show would be starting shortly, that their numbers would be called at random and once yours number is called you are to line up backstage where someone would be to tell when it’s their turn.

Zayn and Niall go quiet as the first contestant hits the stage a petite girl with a headful of jet black ringlets, who the announcer called Leigh Anne she’s fierce as she saunters down the runway like she owns it in an awful Christmas tree sweater completes with fake snow and Christmas lights that actually look like their blinking the way the lights glint off the foil material they’re made of but she might as well be wearing Chanel the way she strutted her stuff.

A couple people go after her but Leigh Anne is still the one everyone is whispering about by the time Niall’s number is called. They’d had to call him three times before the blonde thought to check his slip of paper so enrapt with the show.

“Bollocks that’s me.” He announced popping up from his seat. “Wish me luck yeah?”

“Good luck mate.”

Niall’s barely been gone a minute when Liam and Louis come bounding over, arms laden with free stuff that they must’ve collected from the many club booths and tables scattered on the outskirts of the room.

“Zayn there you are!” Louis cheers, scooting closer.

“Don’t either of you talk to me, you no good abandoners.” Zayn spat, turning his back to them.

“Aw come on mate we didn’t mean to be gone so long, it’s just everywhere we went there seemed to be a bloody line but on a brighter note look at all the free swag we got.”

“Also we got you a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.”

Zayn tried to hold off for as long as he could but the promise of hot chocolate was much too tempting to resist. “Gimme, gimme. I’m still mad but I got you both numbers and sorta met a boy.”

“A boy, you? But you don’t date.”

“Piss off I haven’t dated in a while but that doesn’t mean I never would.”

“Could’ve fooled me, how many times have I offered to set you up with one of my mates?”

“Well can you blame me? I’ve seen the type of losers you call mates.”

“Oi, you can count yourself among those loser mates of mine ya know!”

“Whatever stop distracting me, I met a boy his name is Niall and he’s Irish and lovely.”

“Oh yeah and where exactly is this Irish beauty then?”

“His number just got called so he should be coming up shortly.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth was Niall’s name announced as the blonde took the stage exaggerating the sway of his hips and grinning. He should’ve looked like a complete fool up there but instead Zayn found himself biting his lip watching his little bum shake its way to the end of the runway and judging from the crowd’s reaction a mixture of laughter and wolf whistles ad he started hitting the audience with his best blue steel ala Zoolander, he wasn’t the only one

“That’s him? Why he _is_ quite the little cutie ain’t he?” Louis noted, sounding way too surprised for Zayn’s liking but it was Liam’s comment that really threw him.

“Hey I know that guy—he works with me at Best Buy.”

“No way, seriously how have I not seen him before today then?”

Liam shrugged. “He’s new, just got transferred to our store from the one in city. He’s aces, a real funny chap.” He said bringing a hand up to rub his chin in thought. “Now that I think of it if I’d known he went for blokes I’d probably have tried setting you up.”

“Then maybe it’s better we met this way then because you know how I feel about set ups, if you had tried I probably would’ve said no just on principle.” Liam nodded, grinning in that way where his eyes practically crinkle out of existence because he lived for this kind of shite, fate and kismet and things being written in the stars—he was a hopeless romantic at heart which made his situation with Lou doubly frustrating. How could someone who believed in soul mates and all that happenstance rubbish be so blind to his very own fate.

Zayn shook his head at the same exact time Harry came barreling into him, panting. “Zayn oh god did you see him, I was in the loo when I heard them call his name and had to stop mid-stream, got a bit of wee on the bloke beside me at the urinals, which he wasn’t very happy about but I washed my hands and ran out of there like a bat out of hell just to see him but it was totally worth it, wasn’t he amazing?”

“Yeah he was great!” Zayn agreed glancing up at the stage where Niall had been replaced by a tiny girl in a Minnie Mouse sweater skipping down the runway like a proper schoolgirl.

“Oh who are your frien—Lima!!!” Harry cried out, eyeing his mates, Liam in particular.

“Hello Harry.”

Louis who had been staring at the taller boy like he was some kind of new found species now narrowed his eyes looking between him and Liam and back again. “You two know each other?”

“Why of course! We share a textbook in Spanish 1, hola Liam como estas?” Liam grinned opening his mouth to respond but Louis’ hand shot out to cover his mouth.

“Oh no you don’t it’s Saturday and that means no talk of school!”

Harry’s mouth fell into a dramatic pout. “nunca esta de mas practicar.”

Eyes narrowing further Louis turned to Liam. “Liam, what did he just call me?” He asked already rising his fists ready to fight this overgrown cartoon looking wanker.

“I just said it never hurts to practice.” Harry said, quickly holding his hands up in defense. “Not to be funny but he could use all the help he can get am I right Lima?” He chuckled, nudging the older boy’s side which made Liam giggle as well and nod.

“Why do you keep calling him that, his name is Lee-yum.”

Liam shrugged. “It’s sort of a Spanish class joke Louis. You wouldn’t really…”

“Oh, I see so you have inside jokes with this, this _hippie_?” Louis practically screeched, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Heyyy, I’m not a hippie—I prefer free spirit.”

Rolling his eyes Louis got up on his tip toes in an attempt to seem more intimidating, getting right up in Harry’s face as he spat: “I’m sorry did I offend you by calling you a hippie because let me tell you that’s one of the nicer names I’ve got for you!”

Harry drew back as if stuck. “What did I ever do to you? I don’t even know your name!”

“Louis what has gotten into you? Harry’s right he’s not done anything to you.”

“Since when has that ever stopped me?” The smaller boy muttered, but backed off all the same.

That was about all Zayn could take finally moving to stand between Harry and Lou, wrapping an arm around the latter. “Alright that’s enough there kitten, put the claws away.”

“What are you on about Zayn what’s going on?” Liam asked looking completely stressed that his two mates didn’t seem to get along.

“It’s nothing just Louis playing guard dog—but if he doesn’t quit it he’s gonna have to put a muzzle on!  Harry is Niall’s friend as well as Liam’s classmate you know.”

“Guard dog what the fu—” Liam started to ask just as another set of numbers were called.

“I think that’s one of yours.” Zayn said, pointing to his mates who both dig around for their slips of paper at the same time but it’s Liam who ends up groaning.

“Frick me.” He whined, looking up to the ceiling as if to ask ‘why him’. “Look Lou I will literally take you to Nando’s right now and pay for your dinner myself if you will please not make me do this.” He bargained as though the other boy was physically in control of him.

“Did you just offer to take me out to dinner? Like a, like on a date?”

“I didn’t say all tha—"

“Why Liam James Payne after nearly two years of me practically throwing myself at you, prancing around in my tightest trousers and sucking love bites into your neck at every opportunity you’ve finally grown the bollocks to ask me out?”

“Wait, you’ve been throwing yourself at me? All that stuff you just said you did it all for me?”

“Yes you slow but adorable idiot, why do you think I practically bit this one’s head off—he’s never done anything to me, but I didn’t like the way he was all over you.”

“All he did was nudge my shoulder and stay close to me.”

“You see practically jumped your boys right there in front of me! And then you’ve got all these inside jokes that I’m on the outside of…”

“ _One!_  We’ve got one inside joke which is pretty lame if I’m being honest.” He admitted, turning to Harry for confirmation who quickly nodded his agreement.

“Whatever all of that is water under the bridge now because you like _me_ don’t you Liam?”

“I uh…”

“You asked me to dinner because you like me and want wine and dine me...”

“I don’t think they offer wine at Nando’s.”

“…and shower me with prezzies...”

“Christmas is just around the corner you know and your birthday just before that so I’m afraid my funds are running a bit low right now and—”

“… _and_ kiss me breathless.”

“I don’t think—oh.” Liam paused eyes going wide as he stared down at Louis’ mouth and imagined not for the first time kissing him breathless. “I uh, I could do that.”

“Yeah?” Louis asked, fluttering his lashes. “And we’ll of course keep these sweaters on because I paid too much money for this bloody thing to let it go to waste.”

“Of course.” Liam agreed just before crowding up to Louis and finally— _finally_ leaning in for a proper snog.

“Ugh, get a room you two!” Zayn mock cringed, while Harry literally wiped a tear from his eye.

“Not yet, first were going to dinner and _then_ back to yours.”

That wiped the smile right off his face. “Wait no! Go to your dorm Lou—”

“Nope, we’re going to yours, I like Liam’s bed better.”

“But you’ve got a single, why’re you going to sexile me when you literally have a room all to yourself.”

Louis didn’t even bother to respond, simply tugged Liam towards the exit. “Ta ta Zayn, enjoy sleeping on the common room couch where who knows how many students have farted!” He called over his shoulder with an evil cackle.

“I really hate you sometimes Tommo!” Zayn called back and got flipped off for his efforts.

“Love you too!” Louis called out before ducking out the building with Liam in toe shooting his roommate a sympathetic look, shrugging as if to say ‘what can you do?’.

“He’s quite a character isn’t he?” Harry asked once they were gone.

“You don’t know the half.” Zayn muttered, still glaring at the last place he’d seen his twat of a mate.

“You know you can always stay with Niall for the night.”

At that Zayn raises an eyebrow. “But aren’t the two of you roommates?”

“Us? No he rooms with this douche named Justin while I share a room with one of the judges Mikey—he’s the one with the bright red hair, he’s the whole reason me and Niall even heard about this contest. Anyway Justin’s already gone home, back to Canada for winter holiday so Ni’s got an empty bed you can borrow if you want it.”

“That would help me out, but how do you even know he’d agree to let me stay at his?”

Without warning Harry let out a bark of laughter, immediately bringing a hand up to cover his mouth afterwards though the damage had already been done, “Oh god that was a good one! How do I know he’d even—ha!”

Zayn pulls a face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I was there when he learned to walk and spoke his first words which was a whole week _after_ me by the way. So it’s safe to say I know him and I can tell he’s already mad about you and I’ve only seen the two of you together for like half a minute, that’s all anyone would need really.”

“You’re having me on.”

“I’m not! He’s got proper heart eyes for ya mate.”

“Yeah?” Zayn said, unable to mask the hopefulness in his voice.

“Mmhm.”

“Cool.”

“For the record I don’t even have to have known _you_ that long to see you’re just as gone for him.” He pointed out with a grin. “Seriously neither of you should play poker ever.”

“Sod off, I’m usually better’n this I swear!” Zayn insisted, feeling his cheeks heat up and praying he wasn’t blushing.

“I’ll take your word for it…hey speak of the devil.” Zayn turned to see Niall approaching.

“Oi did you lads see me up there?”

Harry nodded moving forward to wrap the blonde in a bear hug, rocking the both of them from side to side. “Of course, they loved you. Did you hear the crowd they haven’t gone that mad for someone since that first girl at the very start.”

“Stop it they did not.”

“They did mate and deservedly so you were fantastic.”

“Really?” Niall pressed, gently shoving the other boy off him to turn and face Zayn fully. “Cheers. I tried to look for you but it’s hard with the bright lights and everything but I managed to scout you out and you were with two other blokes—one was wearing what looked like a red cape…”

“Yeah those were my mates, the one in the cape was Liam he says he knows you from work.”

“Liam Payne? No kidding, _he’s_ your mate? What a small world eh and why does it not surprise me that he was wearing a Christmas sweater that had a bloody cape on it.”

“He was supposed to be a super elf, there to ensure all the boys and girls of the world have a good Christmas.”

“Now _that_ sounds like Liam to give his sweater a back story and everything.” The three boys share a laugh.

“So where’d he run off to then?”

“He convinced our other friend Louis not to make him participate by agreeing to take him to dinner instead.”

“Like a date?”

“Yep.”

“This Louis you speak of; he wouldn’t happen to be a pint-sized menace hell bent on driving Liam to an early grave would he?”

“One and the same why you know him?”

Niall shook his head. “Let’s just say Liam spends many an hour grumbling in detail about all the ways his ‘mate’ was making him crazy (and sexually frustrated).”

“He does not! Not my Liam.”

“He did, I swear! Good on him for finally making a move.”

Zayn vehemently nodded his agreement. “Seriously I’ve had to watch their soap opera for two years now, if I wasn’t so damn happy for them finally getting their shit together I’d be right angry at them basically abandoning me to go to dinner.”

Niall’s eyes practically lit up. “So you’re still planning to go through with it even though your mates backed out?” Zayn nodded.

“A bets a bet. It just sucks that they’re not here to make me look good when it’s my turn.”

“You’ve still got us.” Harry pointed out, puffing his chest proudly.

“You mean you’ll stick around?”

“Of course!” They said in one voice, the silent ‘duh’ not going unnoticed.

+++

It’s not very long after that that Harry’s number is called and the curly-haired lad practically bounced backstage and when it was his turn to hit the runway much like Niall the reaction was instantaneous, people cheering him on as he slowly made his way to the end of the runway almost dragging his feet and at one point Zayn thought he was going to trip himself up on his clown sized boots but he found his balance at the last second and played it off by blowing kisses at the crowd really hamming it up.

“He’s good.” Zayn breathed out, laughing as he watched Harry pretend to catch a kiss blown back at him and put it in his pocket.

“Eh he’s alright he’s been to a couple of runway shows before—real ones with his sister who writes for some big fashion magazine so she’s always attending glamorous things like that and occasionally she’ll bring him along as her plus one.”

“No wonder he looks like he actually knows what he’s doing unlike the rest of us.”

Niall snorted. “Please I’m just glad he made it to the end and back without breaking his neck…he’s a bit of a klutz tell the truth.”

“Yeah but the way he works the crowd, looks like it just comes natural to him.”

“Oh it does, he’s quite the charmer that one.”

“He’ll probably score really high on that alone.” Niall nodded, humming in thought. “What’re the criteria’s for judging again do you know?” Zayn asked, chewing his lip nervously.

“Judging is done in four categories the first is sweater obviously, then there’s your walk/attitude, crowd reaction and lastly we’re judged on our overall appearance.”

“In that case he’s probably got this thing in the bag, is there even a point in me going up?”

“Look I love Haz like a brother but there’s no way he’s going to beat you out in the looks department and that’s my unbiased opinion.”

Zayn quirked an amused eyebrow. “Is it unbiased if you’ve already admitted you find me attractive?”

“But I find Harry attractive too, I’ve never thought about him in half the ways I’ve been thinking about you since we met, but I can at least admit he’s a good looking lad, just not _as_ good looking as you.”

“Seriously you need to stop that or you’ll give me a complex.” Zayn giggled just as Harry ran over to join them, green eyes wide and sparkling with excitement.

“That was awesome! I’ve been to a few runway shows before as a spectator but it’s loads more fun being on the other end of things! And not to count my chickens before they’ve hatched but I think I’ve got a good chance of winning, the crowd was really feeling me and well you already know I’ve got Mikey’s vote but that other male judge Grimshaw I’m pretty sure he winked at me at one point…do you reckon I’ve got a chance at gettin’ in his pants win or lose?”

“Who Nick? Oh deffo, I’ve bumped into him at the last two parties I went to and both times he’s asked about you, you’re totally in bruh.”

+++

Another half hour goes by and the remaining contestants have dwindled to three and Zayn has somehow ended up being the very last of them.

“I’m not surprised they started this thing real strong so it only makes sense that they end it even stronger.” Harry pointed out, distracted by the bedroom eyes and flirty looks he and Grimmy had not at all discreetly been exchanging since Harry’s go on the runway.

“But the numbers were supposedly picked at random.” Zayn reminded.

Harry rolled his eyes finally tearing his gaze away from Nick to throw his hands up. “Fine then maybe a higher power saw fit to save the best for last.”

“Whatever, either way I’m completely bricking it knowing I’m the show’s closer.”

“You’re going to be fine Zayn, better than you’ll do amazing!” Niall insisted with a reassuring smile that only half helped to calm Zayn’s nerves.

“Either way you have to actually go backstage to do it so shoo.” Harry said, sweeping Zayn in the direction of backstage with his hands.

“Did you really just _shoo_ me?” Zayn asked in an incredulous tone.

Harry just grinned undeterred “I did, and I’m about to do it again...now get!”

Zayn jumps as he feels the taller lad lightly swat at his bum, near scampering towards the backstage area to avoid another one.

He’s nearly pouring down sweat as the second to last person hits the runway this blonde jock looking bloke proudly wearing a My Little Pony’s sweater obviously a brony, Zayn personally didn’t see the appeal. The crowd is only lukewarm towards him as the long day finally seems to catch up with them, as it was the crowd had lessoned steadily as the hours passed leaving only the tail end of contestants and the truly devoted causing Zayn to fear that he wouldn’t be very well received that anyone remaining would just want him to get things over with so they can finally go home, get something to eat—anything other than be there.

“Alright beautiful you’re up next.” A girl with a headset and a nametag that read: Jesy said, winking at him as she pointed him in place counting him in before sending him out.

Zayn sucked in a gulp of air, shaking off the last of his jitters before stepping into the spotlight.

+++

It all went down in a blur of bright lights and applause as he took the stage, sauntering down the runway like he owned it, like everyone before him didn’t matter, schooling his face into his signature smolder that never failed to get him whatever he wanted but right as he reached the end of the runway, standing right in front of the judges table twisting this way and that so they could fully appreciate not only his sweater but his magnificent jawline he hit them with a sexy grin, folding his tongue behind his teeth and winking at the blonde judge Perrie who was practically drooling before pivoting and strutting back the way he’d come from.

+++

It took the judges a surprisingly brief amount of time to come to a decision considering how many contestants there had been but in the end it took them seven minutes of deliberation before they each took turns naming the winners.

“Third runner up is...” Mikey paused for dramatic effect. “Harry Styles!!!” He crowed into the microphone before passing it over to Cher.

Harry squealed and practically left the ground in excitement as he made his way to the table to collect his prize of a small plastic trophy and a five dollar iTunes gift card.

“Second runner up goes to. “Ed Sheeran!” Cher announced and Zayn watched as a ginger boy with a naughty gingerbread man sweater bounded onstage to collect his trophy and gift card.

“And the first runner up and almost winner, seriously mate it was such a close call...” Nick rambled, speaking directly at Niall. “Niall Horan!” Niall whooped loudly just as excited if he’d actually won as he raced to collect his prizes.

“And the winner of the first annual ugly sweater contest and a free Nando’s dinner for two is, drum roll please.” Perrie paused as the other three judges gave her a brief drum roll using their mouths and the table. “Zayn Malik!!!” She shouted, bouncing in place as the whole room watched Zayn’s jaw hit the floor. He honestly never would’ve thought he’d win, his sweater wasn’t even ugly and the crowd had liked Niall so much more than him.

Shaking himself from his momentary paralysis he finally approached he judges table, taking the microphone when it was handed to him. “Oh wow I don’t know what to say. Just thanks I guess.” He finished with a nervous laugh handing the mic back to Perrie who hadn’t stopped eying him down like he were the free Nando’s dinner or summat.

“A man of few words I like that, and I just so happen to be free tonight if you needed a date to take to Nando’s.” She threw in with no tact whatsoever, not caring how desperate she was coming off as she practically clung to Zayn side.

“Actually I was hoping Niall wouldn’t mind coming with me.” Zayn he admitted, turning to the blonde who stood off to the side with the other runner ups.

“The first runner up?” Perrie asked, seeming to forget she was mic’d.

“Uh yeah.” Zayn admitted sheepishly, head ducked down to brace himself for possible rejection. “So what do you say?” He asked from beneath his lashes.

Niall didn’t even hesitate before he was moving forward, using the hand not holding his trophy to tip Zayn’s chin up so their eyes could meet. “I say hell yeah, what’re we waiting for!”

“Sick!” Zayn breathed out almost on a sigh, the two boys staring lovingly into each other’s eyes and completely ignoring Perrie who stood pouting beside them.

Nick reached over to take the microphone from her, doing his best impression of a game show host as he addressed the crowd one last time. “Well you heard it here first folks he might’ve only placed second in the ugly sweater contest but I do believe Niall Horan might in fact be the true winner of the night.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here are the sweaters in case you were curious:  
> [](http://s935.photobucket.com/user/ibeejenfur/media/aeaa92d2-6db9-40c8-a259-edb14be6d94e_zpstbtjxbvi.jpg.html)


End file.
